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Being a MOM


While I pride myself in being a Mom, a nurturer and everything that goes with it, I have been feeling much like a failure of late.

My girls (especially the middle one and the eldest one) have been struggling in their schoolwork not the understanding of the work but the self discipline that goes with making progress at school. A week ago I sat on one of the benches at the station and just managing to at that time (7am ) of the morning to write notes to teachers in message books as I had kept the girls at home the previous Friday because I forgot to do it the night before. As I went from one message book t o the next I opened the last one that was my middle daughter’s and here two warnings and a nice message from her teacher stared at me. As I proceeded to read the note I was filled with anger and much disappointment...

I completely became one of those ladies that just let it “rip” on the train station and yes the “nasty” mom came out you know the one where you switch to Afrikaans and very candid Afrikaans I might add, well you can fill in the blanks...

I remember feeling like a complete failure and I then accepted that for a while I have failed my girls because my to do list has been just far too long... I proceeded to have a long chat with my hubby and just really asking him to help me because I feel that I just can’t do it on my own.
After the meltdown well the week was a breeze. I realized something about myself that allowed me to be more in tuned to my girls and that is that instead of doing everything on my own, I need to ASK for help and I also needed to link arms with their teachers for the sake of my girls schooling. Instead of taking a defence mode I need to take the offence so that I am able to see the situation for what it is and not be so quick to defend my girls knowing they are in the wrong.

While I love being a Mom when things are going well it’s in these challenging moments, working to get a routine going, making sure homework is done and just finding a rhythm that works for us as a family, it’s here where I learn so much about myself. I also decided to love more and shout less. I decided to hug my girls as often as I can and just show them that I love them and that I am in their corner.

If you know me I am some what of a perfectionist and I loathe losing and so I am determined to become a better Mom daily, it’s not an easy task however as I am learning to be strict for discipline sake I am also learning and modelling love to my girls, showing that regardless of my anger, disappointment I will still be there, I will still love them and I will still want the best for them.

Being a Mom is a beautiful gift and privilege one that I absolutely love and I am making work of becoming better and I learn daily that it’s OKAY to “lose” it sometimes however I must go back and apologise for my outburst and reaffirm so that my girls know what my intentions are/was.

What is your Mom story melt down that happened recently and how did you handle it?
I would love to hear your thoughts.

Enjoy your day!!


Love Zenneline 

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