Skip to main content

Being a MOM


While I pride myself in being a Mom, a nurturer and everything that goes with it, I have been feeling much like a failure of late.

My girls (especially the middle one and the eldest one) have been struggling in their schoolwork not the understanding of the work but the self discipline that goes with making progress at school. A week ago I sat on one of the benches at the station and just managing to at that time (7am ) of the morning to write notes to teachers in message books as I had kept the girls at home the previous Friday because I forgot to do it the night before. As I went from one message book t o the next I opened the last one that was my middle daughter’s and here two warnings and a nice message from her teacher stared at me. As I proceeded to read the note I was filled with anger and much disappointment...

I completely became one of those ladies that just let it “rip” on the train station and yes the “nasty” mom came out you know the one where you switch to Afrikaans and very candid Afrikaans I might add, well you can fill in the blanks...

I remember feeling like a complete failure and I then accepted that for a while I have failed my girls because my to do list has been just far too long... I proceeded to have a long chat with my hubby and just really asking him to help me because I feel that I just can’t do it on my own.
After the meltdown well the week was a breeze. I realized something about myself that allowed me to be more in tuned to my girls and that is that instead of doing everything on my own, I need to ASK for help and I also needed to link arms with their teachers for the sake of my girls schooling. Instead of taking a defence mode I need to take the offence so that I am able to see the situation for what it is and not be so quick to defend my girls knowing they are in the wrong.

While I love being a Mom when things are going well it’s in these challenging moments, working to get a routine going, making sure homework is done and just finding a rhythm that works for us as a family, it’s here where I learn so much about myself. I also decided to love more and shout less. I decided to hug my girls as often as I can and just show them that I love them and that I am in their corner.

If you know me I am some what of a perfectionist and I loathe losing and so I am determined to become a better Mom daily, it’s not an easy task however as I am learning to be strict for discipline sake I am also learning and modelling love to my girls, showing that regardless of my anger, disappointment I will still be there, I will still love them and I will still want the best for them.

Being a Mom is a beautiful gift and privilege one that I absolutely love and I am making work of becoming better and I learn daily that it’s OKAY to “lose” it sometimes however I must go back and apologise for my outburst and reaffirm so that my girls know what my intentions are/was.

What is your Mom story melt down that happened recently and how did you handle it?
I would love to hear your thoughts.

Enjoy your day!!


Love Zenneline 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

We are so used to...

We are so used to allowing our current circumstances consume us, we lament we groan and moan and we are often so confused as to what the next step must be that we should take.  The groaning and moaning of How unfair this is, Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?  Etc and we find people to complain to but we do nothing about our situations. We then use our situations to fall in abuse of substances and we even turn to other things we never thought we were capable of…because we are so vulnerable and the enemy will use that vulnerability to his advantage. We worry about what this one is going to say. How is it going to look to others? I won’t be able to do this and that? My question to you is, can you afford not to walk away? These are the thoughts that keep us captive. In Hosea 4:6 God reminds us that my people perish through lack of knowledge. So surely when you know better you should do better, right? Look we are all at different spaces in our lives but when we a
Post a Comment
Read more

It's OKAY not be OKAY...

TODAY is one of those days I don't allow myself to have many of... A day where I am extremely emotional and teary and life seems to have gotten the better of me just for today. I don't tend to dwell on my negatives I am known to be the optimistic one and always positive however today I am far from that. I allow myself to be in this space because in this moments of being emotional and allowing myself to cry because they say tears are healing waters. I am very much aware of my surroundings and giving myself this space to just process every disappointment and whatever else I am dealing with. A close friend and mentor of mine told me a few months ago that I should learn to unpack things as they happen and not bottle it all up and then I explode when things just get too much. As a mother, wife and whatever else I am to whoever it all just got too much. Have you ever gotten to a point where you question "Why?"   "Why do I even bother talking non stop with my k
Post a Comment
Read more

No one is always busy...

Such truth in this picture. I saw this picture message on a page I follow on Facebook and it made me think and reflect and I shared it on my page but I didn't elaborate at the time because I was still filled with negative emotions. Then this morning a friend of mine shared it on her page and these are my thoughts about this and I am referring to friendships/relationships with family and just relationships in general. So please allow me to express myself.. What is most difficult to comprehend is that we allow people to have so much space in our lives and they give so little of their time to us...It hurts immensely when you know how committed you are to certain friendships/relationships and you get absolutely the bare minimum and that fact is what is making me walk away from many. Zainonesha had this to say about it " So true...then one has to settle with lame excuses as if our lives are depending on it. Be Honest I would say" Yes I understand that we are all in dif
Post a Comment
Read more