First of all I just want to make it very clear that I love all my friends with all my heart, and if one of you read this and feel a bit of discomfort then I think you need to examine your heart and find out why you feel a little discomfort, I know that this Blog will help you become a better friend, I strive for that everyday. Enjoy!!
Growing up moving from Namibia where life is very much family orientated , you are constantly surrounded by mothers , fathers ,aunts , uncles, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, cousins etc. This last week my husband and myself have been really talking a lot about “friendships” and we ask the question do we have real friendships or just acquaintances? I asked this question because when I moved from Windhoek to Cape Town I had no family and I made friends and over the years the friends circle has become a little less, the reason I am writing about this word “friendship” is because there has been something bugging me, you know how it is when you feel you are being the friend you want others to be to you and then you have this high expectancy of yourself and then in turn you find yourself projecting those expectations onto others, and that isn’t wrong in essence(well remember this is my opinion and my take, so you are more than welcome to differ).
What bugs me is this, we learn or at least I have learnt that in friendships for them to flourish it has to be nurtured, like all relationships for them to work like a well oiled machine both parties need to value it very much and find value in working on the friendship, what bugs me about most people who call themselves friends is that they have become accustomed to just receiving, what I mean is this they have become so spoiled by the other friend always being there, always picking up the phone to say hello, to a point of addiction, and when the friend who has always been “giving” decides today I aint doing that anymore, I am going to see whether this friendship is really valuable to the “receiver”, the receiver becomes offended by the giver’s silence, why is that? You know what I think that the receiver has now realized that maybe just maybe they have been taking this friendship for granted and now is too scared to take the next step of breaking the ice, it takes courage but we all have it inside of us, all we got to do is believe in ourselves and our own abilities, if the friendship is something that you value, you will make the next move…
I challenge you, if you have and I know you found yourself in this situation if you are a “receiver” I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and make that first move of saying “hello first” whether it be writing on your friend’s wall on Face Book, whether it be picking up the phone and making that call, whether it be BBM, whether it be sms, whatever medium you want to use just do it!! Reach out!!
For the “giver” I challenge you to start shifting gears, take a step back and allow the “receivers” to make that first move, I write this because I want friends in my life who knows that there are a balance and when there isn’t a balance friendships tend to fall apart, yes I know in the beginning it will be shock therapy, but you will value those friends who reach out to you now much more than you ever did, because you will feel that you are also important to that friendship.
Interesting indeed, I'm both a receiver and a giver, sometimes I give more though.
ReplyDeleteThus it makes me a giver?
It is true that a balance is required, hence one should choose friends wisely. Very Cliche yet still as much truth as the first time it's been said