Expressions of Myself

Just do YOU. No apologies , no explanation the environment around you will adjust ;). Some powerful words spoken to me... We gotta learn to let things GO! Someone said something to offend you, Let it GO, someone did something you didn't expect and it hurt you in the process, let it GO. Something happened you had no control over, let it GO! I am speaking to myself here. I have been dealing with a lot of things happening to me and my family all at once and some of it made me angry, some of it made me to become weary of letting new people in and also to trust people in general. However the stuff happened and I had to find a way to deal with it. Sometimes I dealt with it poorly and sometimes I just literally didn't spend much time fretting over it. I believe myself to be a problem-solver and I really want to fix things if I can, if I can't I will find a way to do so. I have been in a state of anger for a while and last week Sunday at church the Pastor reminded me of how J...

Exams season is upon me and many other UNISA students and this is the time of the year I literally live off black coffee (as many as I can take in for the day), less hours of sleep because I really need to get a lot of content into my brain and the numb feeling in my head of information overload. While this seems to look and feel like a never ending story, I am particularly excited about this exams. This would be my third last exam and that means I will have another two exams left before I graduate and I get capped as an Educator!! How EXCITING is that? I am bursting at my seams because I have been working so hard and for the most part I have disciplined myself in not having a social life. Being a Wife, Mother and a full time working woman I have had to learn the art of managing my time effectively . It was not easy in the beginning because obviously as you try to carve out a new habit one or two things will fall by the way side however I have learned quite a few things about mys...

Today I am so in awe of God. I looked at our daughter Sai and the question that was looming in my mind was "Lord, where has the time gone?". Things has changed so much for us in the last few months and I constantly feel that I am in transition mode and it is a never ending story.  Last month it was school applications and today she has an interview for her new school next year. While I was brushing her hair this morning I was filled with a sense of gratitude because she is such a fighter. She faced battles from the day she was born and she thrived through it all. All my kids have a special place in my heart however Sai is the one whom I had the most amazing time with to bond. She was born premature and I spent two months doing Kangaroo Mother Care. This was a time where I had many feelings of inadequacy cropping up for me. I felt that I wasn't doing enough in terms of expressing. For those who didn't know when a baby is premature you must breastfeed on demand and ...

I often feel like I am constantly fighting battles if not for myself, for my children, if not for them it's for my marriage, if not for my marriage it's for relationships whether with friends or family. I find myself constantly fighting something and for the most part of my life I have been fighting to get my voice heard because for a long time I felt that no one is listening to me, so I am constantly fighting to make my voice heard. Stay with me... As the years went particularly for the last four years I have embarked on a journey to get to know myself. I learned to love myself,  I learned to set my own standards, basically asking questions what I stood for, I learned to speak up. I found my voice. It's a constant battle with "self" to choose to be better than the day before. I am the third child and everyone know that the middle child is always looking for attention and always feel left out etc. Well ofcourse I would deny it because that's not true, r...

After having a week from "hell" last week. I woke up Friday morning and my back was aching and my neck was somewhat stiff. My chest was tight and I ended up staying home. Then I took pain meds and I slept for most of my Friday. I also decoded to switch my phone off and just be "unplugged" for the day. That was the plan... I lasted for the maximum two hours trying to be "unplugged"  (It's not as easy as it sounds, hey!)  however what I noticed when I did switch my phone back on was that there was no messages. I think it was because my intention was put out there and I said "Lord, I do not want anyone to message me today." And low and behold no one did! I took this past weekend to get back on track with my daughters. Friday was MY day call it "PJ DAY" (I did absolutely nothing except knitting). Saturday morning I woke up and my five year old daughter Sai , is the first one up after me and I decided to just lay with her. I made...