Expressions of Myself

If you had been disappointed by someone’s behavior towards you at a time when you felt that you really, really needed that specific person to be there for you, would you resolve the issues the first opportunity you get to be in that person’s company and share how you feel regardless of the outcome or response of the other person?  OR would you just leave it and carry on as if that moment didn’t happen. However your view of this person went from a 10 to a 4 and you might not now be able to let’s say have the same friendship/relationship as before you needed them. I am just trying to get some clarity for myself, I have agreed to meet up with someone that indeed has disappointed me and I am a bit scared of my response to that person, because of my anger that still resides inside. This was a scenario I sketched to a close friend of mine to get clarity for myself on a decision I had to make. He then told me this,   “Courage is the desire to maintain our integrity when it’s easier t...

I have not written in a long time and it has indeed been on my mental “to-do list”, so today I decided it’s time to let the creative juices flow. I have been experiencing an immense loneliness, you the kind of loneliness that you don’t understand is happening to you as you are always there when others need you, but when you need others they are just no where to be found, I wrestle with God about this all the time. And I clearly hear His voice reminding me of how I am not alone, and that He is always there. Wanting to live up to my significant other’s expectations has certainly been on my top priority over the years (being married 7 years) I have been trying hard to be the one who he wanted me to be, leaving me empty feeling like I am chasing after nothing, and the deeds being done had no substance, allow me to share my inner most with you and my prayer is that you will be blessed by my findings. You see we all seek some kind of approval and we don’t get from the most important people w...

I have been thinking of this notion where one just settle for the norm, settle for mediocre, mediocre simply means of ordinary or moderate quality, neither good nor bad; barely adequate in other words not making it, so why is it that we settle for “mediocre” when we are called to be much more than that, we are more than over comers, yet we stay in our “comfort” because we are scared of stepping into the unknown, scared to not be in control, why do we wreck our brains over being in control? We are not meant to be in control that is God's territory, all He wants us to do is follow His ways and leave the rest up to Him. He has already worked things out for us the bible says that “he knew us even before we were formed in our mother’s wombs”, if He knew that why can’t we just give Him the benefit of the doubt? I know because we feel inadequate of this crazy indescribable love He has for us that is explained right through the Bible. There is one quote that is so near and dear to my heart...

So right about now I am raw with emotion, emotion of failure but yet it’s not failure, yesterday I had the opportunity of going to pass out for my Driver’s license and you know I didn’t make it however God swung things around so quickly and allowed me to take a deep breath, yes I cried for a few minutes, I had two strangers with me but they really were my two angels that God loaned to me in my time of need, my goal was not accomplish but it’s not the right time, you see I could carry on and have a pity party and beat myself up over it all, but I didn’t!! I went to the Driver’s appointment, I started out right but yesterday was not my day, I get the feeling that all I had to do yesterday was scope out the territory, see what I am up against because next time around I am so going to be prepared reminds me of the story of Nehemiah in chapter 2:1-10 Where he went to check out the area where they were to rebuild the wall and he then had a better idea of how to go about it all, he was busy p...